Hey, good lookin’

So I was at the grocery store last night, and the guy running the till was in his late teens or early twenties. He had dark hair, dark eyes, and glasses, but his hair was short and he had the kind of chiseled features that make girls swoon. Seriously, he was a good looking guy.

He also had bad acne. Not terrible, but enough that he was probably really self conscious about it. He’s probably had it for years, but but has only recently grown into that facial structure. There were a couple young girl checkers who were being silly nearby, and I saw him glance their way a few times, very shyly. It was the kind of look that said he wanted to banter with them, but he didn’t have the confidence.

This broke my heart.

I wanted to take him by the shoulders and shake him, and say, “Dude! You’re hot!”

He probably wouldn’t have appreciated that from a random woman in her thirties, but still. It broke my heart.

There’s a movie from about ten years ago, Shallow Hal. It features a couple of shallow guys, one of whom gets hypnotized into seeing women for who they are inside. For instance, he starts dating a 400 pound woman, but he sees her as this svelte, sexy blonde. (Played by Gwyneth Paltrow.) He keeps telling his friend about this hot woman he’s dating, and he’s shocked that she’s so down-to-earth and friendly with him.

His friend says something like, “She probably didn’t get hot until after college, so she never got the self-confidence. She’s hot but she doesn’t know she’s hot. That’s a real find.”

Seeing that guy at the grocery store reminded me of that line. He’s going to grow out of his skin condition (probably). He’s going to start getting female attention. He’s going to appreciate it, and he’s going to treat women well, because he won’t be one of those guys who got in girls’ pants by virtue of his smile.

He’s going to be a real find.

And that’s kind of a shame.

P. S.: I don’t think I even made a point. I just felt so bad for this kid and I had to tell someone about it.


5 thoughts on “Hey, good lookin’

  1. My experience has been that it’s much easier for a guy than for a girl.
    The average woman is more than willing to overlook acne or a big nose or a few extra pounds for a sweet, loyal, funny, intelligent guy.
    The average guy is not interested in sweet, loyal, funny, or intelligent unless the girl is already good-looking.
    No, I am not making this up. I’ve watched it happen time and time again, and my own ex-husband left me when I’d stayed a size 12 for longer than he found tolerable. Plain girls don’t get dates. Plain guys do — if they have personality/intelligence/humor.
    In high school, I had tons of self-confidence and was even thin, but I had to do the asking if I wanted a date. It was a little better in college, Now it’s absurd — but then, I’m also over 40 as well as plump.
    So, yes, this young man has a chance. But if he were a girl, he wouldn’t.
    Congress may make all the laws they want concerning women’s equality, but in some ways we’ll forever be at a disadvantage. (Have you seen all those articles on how attractive women make more money? Or how being fat lowers women’s overall earnings, but doesn’t affect men’s?)

  2. Thanks for that post. It’s ood to know that I’m not the only one that has the occasional pangs for strangers.
    There is a spot by my Credit Union that has seen many restaurants come and go, I don’t think any have lasted more than a year. I stopped in once for the grand opening of a kind of fast-food Asian place opened up. It was, literally, a mom-and-pop place, not part of a chain. The couple running it was in their late 20’s, maybe early 30’s and their two young children where there. The woman waited on me and brought me my food when it was ready. I remember feeling anxious for her and her young family, because of the history of the spot. Wondering if they were going to make it, what would they do if the place went under, how their young family would handle it.
    I never made it back, I’m not sure how long it lasted but there have been three or four other places in that spot since then. Once in a while I still wonder how they are doing, find myself wishing they had chosen a different spot to open their restaurant.

  3. Back in high school, there was this girl–smart and beautiful and not at all popular. She wasn’t UNpopular; she just wasn’t someone the guys noticed or asked out. And when I say she was beautiful, I mean she was the kind of beautiful you knew no one was going to appreciate at 16 or 17. But one of my best friends and I always said she’d turn out to be more gorgeous than the Homecoming queen.

    I’m friends with her now on Facebook, and she describes herself as a “resplendent late bloomer.” And my friend and I were right: she’s more gorgeous than the Homecoming queen. She’s not a petite woman. She’s not a size 4 or 6 or even an 8 or 10. But no one would argue about her beauty now.

    I agree very much with A Paperback Writer. Guys have it easier. You hear comments all of the time about men marrying “up” in the looks department. And it’s often true. And I don’t think such women ever feel they’ve settled, b/c they know the acne or the big nose or the few extra pounds don’t matter. My college boyfriend and I were doomed from the moment he told me I wasn’t “as pretty a girl” as he thought he’d end up with. He found a prettier girl before I found the courage to look for a nicer guy. And I thank god for that prettier girl all of the time.

  4. I’m intrigued by the responses to this post. I don’t necessarily think guys have it easier, though I’m really not in a position to judge (being a woman). I went to an all-girls high school, and I’ve never been pretty and popular. When I was in my twenties, I wore my hair nicely, worked out, and bought decent clothes, but no guy ever called me “hot.”

    Maybe it seems easier for guys because biologically, they’re the pursuers, and we’re the pursued. An ugly guy can ask a pretty girl on a date, and she might say yes. But if an ugly girl asks a hot guy out, he will probably say no because he’ll feel like he has more options — he’s biologically engineered to go after them. Women aren’t.

    Huh. I don’t know.

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